"Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter 'Y'? 43 of the funniest Donald Trump jokes These days, we only really know Colin for his work at the piano, but as a young lad he cut his teeth on the harmonica until his teacher explained that he wasn't supposed to chew it. List of Games On I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Late Arrivals (at A Society Ball) Late Arrivals (at A Society Ball) . The 72nd series of the multi award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. Perennial antidote to panel games. From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. Jack Dee chairs the 77th series of the show. 34 of Lee Evans funniest jokes and quotes ", "If at any point I disapprove strongly you'll hear this (*blows horn*), unless I give Samantha a go, in which case you'll hear this (*lady screams*). ", "Dear Dr. Clare, So pleased to hear that Tim Brooke-Taylor is back - without him the show was like Hamlet without the balcony scene.". Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. It says on my thing here, you all keep going until it stops being funny. In which the teams introduce the guests arriving at a society ball, this time from the construction industry: Will you welcome please, Mr and Mrs Cotter-Tiling and their son, Terry, And from Ireland, Mr and Mrs ODoors and their son, Paddy, Mr and Mrs Antilers and their son Rufus, Mr and Mrs Loadabricks and their son Laurie, Mr and Mrs Duz-Merchants and their son, Bill. "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. Billed as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians being given "silly things to do" by a chairman. It consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. 1.7K views, 25 likes, 1 loves, 2 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Kimball Concert Association: Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls Join Group :. The main difference was that, as a panel game, they didn't need to write any . "I Will Survive" to the tune of "Over the Rainbow" (Tim Brooke-Taylor) 32. The 70th series of the multi-award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults Yours etcetera, Dear Leonardo da Vinci, Scrub the sitting Ive got to go to the dentist. (modern), Humph 'It didn't even occur to him that he was funny. In fact, they no longer were my words. Across the 50 years, the series has only twice seemed close to ending. After 30 minutes, the doleful host declared that the first show had come to a merciful end. Schindler Goes To Ryman's, Buys A Biro And A Notebook, Freud-Grown Tomatoes at the Weasel's Top Cafe, The Reigning Pain Stays Mainly on the Plane, Learn how and when to remove this template message, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=I%27m_Sorry_I_Haven%27t_a_Clue&oldid=3242984, "Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. She visits the old men down there every so often to get new material for the show, but it's a trifle unorganised down there. The Met haven't learned from the Stephen Port case', 10m Tory donation surge raises prospects of early general election, I reversed my type 2 diabetes through diet and lifestyle changes, If he asks your father for his permission to marry you, walk away, Police forces and councils are buying hacking software used to unlock mobile phones, 'I own a private island and it's not paradise - it's a useless, rotting burden', 10 reasons to visit the eurozone's newest and most festive member this summer, My AI best friend tried to seduce me so we had to break up, Harry Kane should learn from Alan Shearer's mistake and move to Man Utd, Do not sell or share my personal information. Innuendo, tone-deaf singing and dreadful wages: as the cherished BBC panel game celebrates its half century, we look back at its finest moments and its future. Jack Dee chairs the 78th series of the show. ", "Accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. ", "Hang on - what do you mean you write his scripts?". Reaction to BBC Radio Comedy is incredibly subjective, but I'm afraid I found tonight's episode (kicking off a new run) pretty feeble. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4, 11 April 1972- ) is a British radio comedy programme which describes itself as "the antidote to panel games". All rights reserved. They said yes, and threw him in the swimming pool. 2012 Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Willie Rushton, Iain Patterson, Jeremy Hardy and Jon Naismith. They're going on a driving tour of Wales. To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. In the modern world this is known as the Daily Mail. I went to the pub quiz the other night first question was, What the f**k are you looking at?, Wish someone would contact me about all the other crap Ive been missold., People who are pro-smacking children say, Its the only language they understand. You could apply that to tourists., At this time of year, if your bin men knock on the door and give you a Christmas card, its traditional to tear it up and say What did you come here for? The White Sox' catastrophic start to the season has all but eliminated the team's playoff hopes before the first month Many come here and pay a few pounds to enjoy an uninterrupted 45 minute viewing of London and the Thames as they wait for their Connex train to finally crawl off Hungerford Bridge. He said she was delighted to see his little firm won. Garden recalls a meeting with then BBC director general, Mark Thompson, at which Thompson cried: Double everyones pay!, Fees have remained unchanged since, say insiders. but couldnt manage three Shredded Wheat, Fifteen men on a dead mans chest. 41 of David Mitchells funniest jokes and quotes I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue : A Second Treasury, CD/Spoken Word - eBay 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: The Best of Forty Years - Goodreads So what I can say from experience is that it takes a lot of guts and perseverance and courage to stop drinking. Dec 12, 2005. Following reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue because of complaints over the smutty jokes, here are some of the show's dirty innuendos from four years of broadcasting. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes - The Telegraph I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Treasury - Audible.com After a set-piece game, he might say: "'If that dies on its arse, make them do another one.' 30. ", "Samantha nearly made it - she's been detained at the last minute in the city's Latin quarter. ", "You join us again at the Everyman Theatre in Cheltenham, where we've attracted a capacity audience of some 700, odd people. Barry was Old School; in his stand up act he told jokes. Now That's What I Call One Song to the Tune of Another - Blogger Colin was telling us that he recently wrote a Horn Concerto for two Cornets. Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. Incidentally, we've just heard some great news - I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work they've bagged it up, & the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday. (All books that might be found on the bookcase of Donald Trump), Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, North Wales", Yours etc., Mrs. Trellis. Eventually we had to call Barrys son to call Barrys wife and tell him to put his headphones back on., Having got through a pandemic, the show may yet survive, in some form, an even greater global catastrophe. In the months before he died, Humph and the team toured a stage version of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. ", "Welcome to ISIHAC where fun and laughter get on like a mouse on fire. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. It didn't even occur to him that he was funny. Any chance of a signed photo for my grandson Dyno-Rod Emergency Hotline Trellis?, Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades . 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable But it was the first three.. "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. In fact, I have a cutting here from Jazz Monthly magazine, written by their top reviewer. ", "Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. 26 of Seann Walshs greatest jokes "Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Introduction Transcripts So listen up, rest of the world. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes I said were gonna invade Tie Rack. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. Graeme Garden, who devised the show, is surprised by its longevity. ", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, a man who doesn't know the meaning of "disharmony". That Lyttelton did another 43 runs of a show marking five decades on air is due, Garden believes, to a change to its initial, completely improvised, approach which was a bit too casual. ", "The city (Leeds) has connections with many famous people. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. However, it wasn't until 1993 that she started becoming the butt of increasingly risque jokes. ", "Samantha's popped out to visit an old gentleman friend of hers who's a notorious curmudgeon. ", "Canterbury today is an interesting mix of traditional and modern buildings, due to the large number of bombs dropped during the last war. Extracted from Im Sorry I Havent A Clue: The Best Of Forty Years by Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jack Dee et al, to be published by Preface on October 4 at 20. "Samantha has recently taken up beekeeping with a small hive, housing just three dozen or so. Here is a compilatio. I'm sorry, but why the fuss over fictional Samantha? Or they can climb up to the top of the mighty tower of the Shell Centre to enjoy a panoramic vista right across half of London. I can tell by your face that stuff really does do exactly what it says on the tin. After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: Too smutty for Radio 4? - The Telegraph Started by Jemble Fred, May 26, 2005, 02:52:40 PM. There's also Barrow-in-Furness which involves burning garden implements, Sellafield, where the object is to try to flog off a plot of contaminated land, and of course we musn't forget Broadstairs, a game for people who are too fat to use the lift. 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners Theosophy Aardvark :- Mrs Trellis of North Wales. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Harry Hill, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Colin Sell, Humphrey Lyttelton, Jon Naismith, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer in Oxford for a recording of Im Sorry I Havent a Clue in 2005. Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes Like whoever created Neptune literally read what Poseidon's main powers were and was like "Ctrl C". Certainly up there with "Ant looked on in horror as he went down with both hands on deck". Suddenly, we had all these people people listening over the shows, says Naismith. ", "The round is called Karaoke Cokey, and it'll be led by Colin Sell at the piano. Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) - Page 3 Digital Spy It would have been more, but the chain kept falling off his bike. That's the problem with a knob gag: the next one only seems as funny if it's filthier. ", (After Jeremy Hardy has sung in a round of Pick up Song) "That wasn't even the same track. ", "Accompaniment here will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. Indeed, he often said he wanted to drive between gigs in a tradesman's van with "Humphrey Lyttelton: Purveyor of Blue-Chip Filth" written on its sides. How did Blair take this weekly misrepresentation of his sexuality? We note that although you will provide adequate chariot parking for visitors, the attractions proximity to the A344 and A303 junction is likely to cause severe traffic congestion. For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he was the only one to hear the show before it went out. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand broadcast an offensive phone call to the actor Andrew Sachs. A revered stand-up comedian, Hardy was also a hit on Radio 4 panel shows such as The News Quiz and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. I feel like, in mythology, Neptune is just a copy of Poseidon Is there a farm shop?, My locals rough as anything. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (BBC radio comedy), various - Archive Read about our approach to external linking. Clued out former long-serving panellists Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton. Although Blair was heterosexual, his camp manner and balletic skills seeded a game of radio mime in which the punchlines alluded to gay sex. 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians Thanks for that nugget . It may not have said so in his passport, but he was one of the wittiest comedians I ever met - one who could go off-script with the sharpest ad-libs. . But there was a later communication that his wife and family were upset and would the BBC calm us down a bit. Oh hang on. Barry and I worked together for 50 years on I'm Sorry I Havent A Clue, and our gleeful spin off You'll Have Had Your Tea with Hamish and Dougal. Save. Born in Farnborough, Hampshire, in 1961, Hardy gained recognition on the comedy circuit in the. Yours, Mona Lisa. Which is why I havent., The other night, this salesman phoned up and started banging on and on about buying car insurance. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (2008 TV Movie) Humphrey Lyttelton: Self - Host Showing all 17 items Jump to: Quotes (17) Quotes Humphrey Lyttelton : Incidentally, Colin's piano playing is widely believed by faith healers to hold miraculous powers. To see a man's true face, look to the photos he hasn't posted. So me and Harry Hill wrote signs saying: Barry! and held them up. Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. "Samantha has been working down in the gramophone library today, where the archivists have been engaged in a heated argument about who sits at which desk to get the best view of Samantha's shapely legs. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue definitions - Tripadvisor Garden remembers: We had one complaint about Samantha, which the BBC took incredibly seriously and promised she would be removed from the premises. She says she can't wait to get home and handle her new Phillips upright. What do you think? ", "Actually, it's been said that one has more chance of being struck by lightning than meeting a piano player like Colin Sell which is why we all spent most of last week standing out in the rain holding metal rods. ISIHAC - Games Compendium - M 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp P.S. I like to ring them up, and play the sound of running water down the phone., Ive had my run-ins with booze; its well documented. I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007 Missed ISIHAC on Monday so I only got to hear the latest Lionel Blair joke at lunchtime. Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) Digital Spy I thought, if I regularly drank two glasses of wine a day Id be well on my way to being cured of alcoholism., I love to be in Britain, when its hot weather. However, she finds that if she butters him up properly she can sometimes get him to splash out." ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's", "Samantha has just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who successfully bid for a contract this week. She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her . . I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Series 56 - British Comedy Guide You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. Clued up Im Sorry I Havent a Clue historic innuendo star Stephen Fry, chair Jack Dee and late-lamented regular Victoria Wood. He was a great comedian not just on Clue but also on The Goodies and many other shows on TV and radio. There is a paradox in that although many listeners didn't realise Humph had a written script in front of him, they were nonetheless happy to accept that he clearly didn't understand what he was reading. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) Sell, on his living-room piano, could hear the panellists but, due to the time delay, they were singing half a bar behind. All rights reserved. . ", "Now listeners will be surprised to hear that pop legend Cliff Richard once insisted that Colin played in The Shadows but then, he's not a pretty sight in broad daylight. Barry Cryer Dies: 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' Stalwart & Prolific Writer For Brit Comedians Was 86. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. I sometimes say that Clue went on three years too long, he says. The comedian was a stalwart on BBC Radio 4's popular panel game 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'. So that's answered your next question. While being mocked by the others for his age and incompetence at trying to read a tricky retake, he stopped, gazed to the side for a moment, squinted, and asked: "Has the man in the end bed died?" I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue | Tropedia | Fandom "Samantha is off to see a chef gentleman friend who is renowned for his fine-quality offal dishes. Enforced Holiday. The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs This worried Henry VIII, who sent a heavily armed force immediately he heard the town was being terrorised by the Beverley sisters. An audience of 3,500 rose as one to express their appreciation, as Humph improvised a powerful, note-perfect rendition of We'll Meet Again. , updated You know that whenever musicians hear that Colin's working with us, they're always very keen for news of the old maestro well, sadly, it's failed it's M.O.T. Im not interested anyway. Edit: I feel like a lot of people still aren't getting that this is a "power to Control Sea" joke :) I read in some mythology that Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus all raised a child together. Jeremy Hardy's best jokes: From Brexit to right wing hypocrisy